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Basic Toilet Humor

Toilet humor has traditionally served as the comfort zone in everyday journalism, and writers stay alert of notable bog-related stories and historic moments, notably connected to soccer. What a delight it was to find out that Big Website columnist Adrian Chiles owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet within his residence. Spare a thought regarding the Barnsley supporter who interpreted the restroom somewhat too seriously, and had to be saved from an empty Oakwell stadium post-napping in the lavatory at half-time during a 2015 defeat by Fleetwood. “He was barefoot and had lost his mobile phone and his hat,” elaborated a representative from Barnsley fire services. And nobody can overlook during his peak popularity playing for City, the controversial forward entered a community college to use the facilities in 2012. “Balotelli parked his Bentley outside, then came in and was asking where the toilets were, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” an undergraduate shared with a Manchester newspaper. “After that he was just walking around the college grounds acting like the owner.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday represents 25 years from when Kevin Keegan quit from the England national team post a quick discussion in a toilet cubicle together with Football Association official David Davies in the underground areas of Wembley, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback versus Germany during 2000 – the national team's concluding fixture at the famous old stadium. As Davies recalls in his journal, FA Confidential, he stepped into the wet struggling national team changing area immediately after the match, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams motivated, the two stars urging for the director to convince Keegan. After Dietmar Hamann's set-piece, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a distant gaze, and Davies located him seated – similar to his Anfield posture in 1996 – within the changing area's edge, saying quietly: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to save the circumstance.

“Where could we possibly locate for a private conversation?” remembered Davies. “The tunnel? Full of TV journalists. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with an England manager as players dived into the water. Just a single choice remained. The restroom stalls. A significant event in English football's extensive history took place in the vintage restrooms of a stadium facing demolition. The approaching dismantling was nearly palpable. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I closed the door after us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘You can’t change my mind,’ Kevin said. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I'm unable to energize the team. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Aftermath

And so, Keegan resigned, later admitting that he had found his tenure as national coach “without spirit”. The two-time European Footballer of the Year stated: “I struggled to occupy my time. I began working with the visually impaired team, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's an extremely challenging position.” The English game has progressed significantly over the past twenty-five years. Whether for good or bad, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers have long disappeared, although a German now works in the technical area Keegan previously used. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for the upcoming Geopolitics World Cup: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This particular anniversary from one of the Three Lions’ darkest days serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Real-Time Coverage

Follow Luke McLaughlin at 8pm UK time for women's football cup news concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Daily Quotation

“We stood there in a lengthy line, wearing only our undergarments. We were the continent's finest referees, elite athletes, role models, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We barely looked at each other, our looks wavered slightly nervously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with a chilly look. Mute and attentive” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson discloses the embarrassing processes match officials were formerly exposed to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“How important is a name? A Dr Seuss verse exists titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Has Blackpool experienced Excessive Steves? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to take care of the first team. Complete Steve forward!” – John Myles

“Since you've opened the budget and awarded some merch, I've chosen to type and offer a concise remark. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights in the school playground with kids he expected would overpower him. This self-punishing inclination must explain his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|